By Cathy Vandewater Sept 7, Being told you should like a nice guy who you don't find attractive is the literal worst.
I have been on 11 dates 11 DATES with a guy I couldn't bring myself to kiss more recently than I want to admit because 1 he was really interested, 2 I wasn't into anyone else was at the time, and 3 I was getting so much pressure from family and friends to just " date a nice guy already," after several weird situations with jerks that I wanted to really try with this one. That guy actually was a nice guy — our personalities were just not a fit — but I remembered doing a sneaky sniff test of his shirt and not.
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I would also advise against dating the "nice" guy: the guy who isn't really nicebut rather is desperate. He wants a girlfriend. You are a girl, and nearby, so that makes you Perfect For Him.
He will, without much concern for your feelings on the matter, overwhelm you with needy gestures to win your heart, and probably call you a bitch when you finally lay it out for him that you just don't feel the same. He also doesn't seem aware that women need to be attracted to him too, or he'd stop letting his mom cut his hair.
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This guy is a probably a friend of a friend who randomly took his shirt off at group hang-out indoors in the wintertime while making eye contact with you and you felt so awkward about it that you had to fade out from the entire group. Speaking hypothetically, of course.
The sweet spot is the GOOD guy: the guy who will refrain from huge romantic gestures until he knows you well enough to include an inside joke on the card that comes with the flowers. He's not infatuated tip for dating a boy you or maybe he is, but that's only part of it ; he's in like with you.
He sees your qualities as a person, not just your winged eyeliner skills, and that's why he's he's going a little crazy. The tough part is, it's really hard to sort these guys from the douches with acting skills.
Only time really sorts the two. But usually, the nice guy — nay, the GOOD guy —is someone you already know, who sneaks up on you. You probably didn't notice him because he's been getting to know you before pulling the big romance guns out. That's as it should be. You'll already know he's different though.
If you're friends, he's where he says he'll be. He teases you, but apologies right away if he hurts your feelings. He's "around" for you.
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And it's not a coincidence. Dating these guys provided you're attracted to them, and it's funny how that attraction can sneak up on youis a happy, healthy, life-affirming experience. Not that you shouldn't already know your worth, but dating a good guy affirms what you know: you're amazing, you deserve to be treated well, and that love should feel good.
Here's a few other reasons to give the nice guy a fair shot: 1. It's Good For Your Soul Being respected, treated tip for dating a boy, listened to, cared for—it's undeniably healing. It feels really good to be able to give those things in return too, knowing it's not a power struggle with this one.
It Teaches By Example You can learn a lot about how a relationship should look from a good man. And you can learn to be a better partner yourself. It Makes Planning Easier Being in a relationship with a decent guy is not about turmoil.
You'd be amazed how much simpler it is to plan things from birthday parties to Saturday night movies when your dude is responsive, available, and not likely to flake at the last minute with a bizarre excuse. You Can Turn Him Bad It's easier to coax a little naughtiness out of a good guy than it is trying.