I've struggled with depression and low self-esteem, but now I'm trying to get back in the dating scene. Is there anything I should be aware of as a lady struggling. I've gotten a LOT better about getting out and hanging out with people in the past year. I've gotten a lot of new friends. The issue is, I have trouble getting close to.
Mar 14, Andrew Zaeh for Bustle We all get nervous in social settings from time to time, whether that comes in the form of fretting over a first date or worrying about a work presentation. But dealing with your nerves during those occasional moments of anxiety is not the same as coping with social anxiety disorder — something that 15 million Americans are doing every day, according to the Anxiety and Depression Association of America.
According to Coleman, that simply means thinking through your feelings, labeling them, and then deciding how you'll deal with those feelings in specific settings, such as work or a social event. Have More Face-To-Face Interactions If you want to practice your people skills, getting a retail job and having face-to-face interactions with customers works like a charm.
Set Small Goals For Yourself You can't overcome social anxiety overnight — so set small, baby-step goals for yourself, that way you don't get overwhelmed.
Volunteer At An Animal Shelter If you're an animal lover, there's no better way to get out of your shell than volunteering at a shelter or pet adoption center. Stop Caring About What Everyone Thinks Of You This one is definitely easier said than done, but it's important to stop worrying about what everyone thinks of you in any given social situation, and simply be.
Make Eye Contact When Talking When you're having a conversation, making eye contact is crucial to forming a connection, and will make you seem more confident than if your focus is elsewhere. Condition Yourself To New Environments Being thrown into a new environment when you have social anxiety can feel overwhelming, so take it one step at a time and allow yourself to slowly adjust to new places.
Take A Trusted Friend To Big Events When you're feeling anxious at a social event, having a buddy to lean on can really help calm you down. Practice The Things You're Afraid Of If there's one specific thing that makes you anxious like talking on the phonefind ways to work up to conquering that fear bit by bit.
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Take Up An Empowering Physical Activity Being physically active can help boost your confidenceand doing a group activity or class also gives you a chance to meet and interact with new people. Remember It's OK To Mess Up When you have social anxiety, every screw-up can feel like the end of the world — but it's important to keep in mind that no one is perfect, and most mistakes are really NBD.
Say Hi To Everyone At A Party If parties overwhelm you, try this Redditor's trick: say hi to everyone, leave the room and take a moment for yourself, and then return feeling more prepared to deal with the situation. Take Time To Recharge If you have anxiety, it's so important to make sure you're taking time to relax and recharge, in whatever way works best for you.
Try Meditation When you need help calming down or ridding your brain of negative, anxiety-induced thoughts, practicing meditation and mindfulness can really help.
Seek Out Conversations Instead of letting others come to you, go and seek out conversations with people — even if it's the cashier at the grocery store — so you can practice socializing in a low-pressure way.
Embrace Your Awkwardness We're all a little awkward and weird — so why not embrace that instead of agonizing over it?
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If adopting one is not in the cards, considering walking one or spending time with a friend's dog. Ask People About Themselves If you're having trouble coming up with a conversation topic, just remember that there's one thing all people love to talk about: themselves. Attend A Convention Or Conference.
How To Increase Your Self Confidence FAST! Become Outgoing! (r/AskReddit)