Updated: Sept 18, I have a theory that the amount of time spent entering into a relationship is directly proportional to the overall length of said relationship.
This is, of course, completely nonscientific data based on a few friends' relationships that I've witnessed get serious faster than Kylie Jenner got preggers and then implode moments later. Plus Romeo and Juliet. This theory would lead me to posit that saying "I love you" early on is a big fat red flag, and that no matter how big your feelings are a month into a relationship, you should probably shut your trap.
However, as a human woman whose feelings evolve at the pace of L. Saying "I love you" to my family is super normal for me; saying "I love you" to a gentleman caller is not. What can I dating for one month quattroporte, that's just effed-up hand of cards my life experience has dealt me. For others, saying "I love you" in a relationship is totally normal, while familial stuff is a bit more complicated. We really are all unique individuals!
As one who is admittedly unqualified to determine if a month is an appropriate amount of time to date before saying "I love you," I instead spoke to dating and relationship expert Meredith Golden to gather her opinion on the matter. It depends on how much time you spend together. You can be "dating" someone for a month, but with your busy schedules, maybe you've only seen each other once a week.
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This pacing amounts to a whopping four dates. Somehow, no matter how "meant-to-be" you might feel, I can't help but think that saying "I love you" after hanging out for less hours than there are in a day is a terrible idea.
But what if you miss a few days here and there? A month is a long time. My initial thought is: I don't know of anyone who's spent every single day together the entire first month of their relationship, and maybe that's the point.
My unsolicited opinion is that if you have 30 days in a row to spend with your new boo, maybe there are other parts of your life that are lacking? But love is love, and stranger things have happened, so the day rule seems like a good one.
It depends on if your partner is on the same page. And, I mean, are they even your "official" partner after one month? Sorry for all of the opinions, but a month is super short in my tortoise-like dating life.
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A lot of feelings come up within the first month of dating someone new, and one of them could definitely be love. However, how would you feel if your partner didn't reciprocate the love, or freaked out? I'm having anxiety just imagining doing this, but I'm proud of you.
You have to trust your gut.
Shutterstock Yeah, yeah, yeah We've all heard this one before. My gut, riddled with bad habits, would tell me not to say "I love you" one month in, even if my partner has already said those three little words to me.
So what even is our gut feeling? Isn't it always littered with our old habits?
Is Saying "I Love You" After A Month Of Dating Too Soon?
I think trusting your gut means examining it, and then acting it. If you find yourself constantly falling in love and saying "I love you" first only to have relationships blow up in your face, maybe don't follow that impulse the next time you meet someone you really like.
On the other hand, if you're a scaredy cat like me, examine your fear around saying "I love you.
You've heard it all before because it's true: No one bond is exactly like another on earth. When deciding if a month is too early to say "I love you," I think you need to ask yourself three things: "Do I want to say it? However, I also think it's important to protect your heart — at least a little bit.
Maybe try writing "I love you" down on paper before saying the words out loud.
Maybe you're really in love, or maybe you're just feeling all of those awesome butterflies we get when we first fall someone. All things said: You do you. This article was originally published on Oct 11,
The 14 Red Flags of Dating - The Art of Manliness